12 March 2025
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Andrew Oldham finds gardeners’ gold in perhaps unexpected places.
Gardening for some can be a bit ‘ icky ’ , all that ‘ mud ’ and those ‘ squishy things . ’ Eurggh ! Then there is an orbit of gardening that stimulate even the hardiest gardeners cross their legs . Yes , I am talk about wee . In polite society there would now be multiple scraping of president leg on parquet floor floor , a few dozen gum apology about give the neighbour ’s bozo , then the slamming of door and the scream of tyres . A few weeks subsequently and you will get those knowing looks from mass you do n’t have intercourse who whisper about you having potentially expose yourself in the garden .
We are all felicitous to spill the beans about comfrey , even though when sum up to water it smell like rampaging turgidity . We are full of fact about the nutritional benefits of nettle , but mention urine and people get a bit rum . I remember a few years ago giving a talk on straw Basel gardening , and how if you get the bales in situ a few weeks earlier then need , then soak them with urine , you will have bumper crops .
The thing is the humble wee is take full of nitrogen , and this accelerates the rotting process of compost . It was about ten minutes into my straw bale talk when I called urine ‘ liquid amber ’ and the organizer slipped me a billet which study : ‘ Please , tone down the language . ’ I wonder whether it was the word ‘ nitrogen ’ or when I submit that urine was consist of 95 % water , 2.5 % urea ( the nutrients ) , and a further 2.5 % of which is a concoction of mineral , salts , hormones and enzyme that offended ? It may have been the word ‘ internal secretion ’ as it confuses many , along with the idea that any medication we take could vote down our plants .
Re - reckon barren
Only 2.5 % of urine could gestate traces of medicament , and as all weewee feeds are water down to a weak teatime , it ’s well than the room we commonly toss out of it . In genteel society we somehow find it is serious to pump all our waste into rivers and out to sea , kill everything but alga along the way . Our root hump the power of waste , but we seem to have lost ourselves in the mistaken opinion that making our own nettle and comfrey tea leaf is doing our bit for nature while we unthinking foul the very life source of nature that is water , drop dead about ‘ our business concern ’ , everyday .
Now , I am not asking you all to rush out and bribe a composting toilet , I am thinking about how we can to the full make use of the material we readily have access to in our garden . Still too many of us take perennial weeds and throw them in the bin . Hopefully , it is a green bin , and it will at least become compost , However , even recurrent weed can be added to barrels of water and allowed to waste down . You think comfrey tea smell awful ? Well this is the next degree of nonvoluntary gagging ! However , once the weed tea leaf is strained , the now truly - dead green goddess ( after six months in water ) , can go on the compost heap .
Comfrey Tea
But what of invading weed ?
Japanese knotweed should never be touched . Giant hogweed looks endearing but burn off you – the sap hits your hide , and the sunlight does the rest and brings us out in horrific annoyance . Himalayan balsam , the pink - flowered weed with the exploding semen cod beloved by children and adults who never have over the joy of helicoptering sycamore seeds , is something that can be bash to the item that it fertilize the grunge . I have been on ‘ balsam sock ’ pack that rove the countryside plucking the thick halt out of the earth just as they set forth to bloom . Then we bray them in gloved hands , crush them under boot and pile them gamey .
This is not an offering to the woodland gods but a drill I have done with countryside wardens . When no one is look , they quickly whisper : ‘ Does anyone need the toilet ? ’ , those who do , go , and pop the whole procedure of radioactive decay all over again . It is the gauze-like altitude and loudness of these piles , so I was told , that forbid the Balsam from coming back . However , looking around our forests , canals and rivers , I am not so sure whether this is working or whether we just need more bashers who urgently require a wee .
Not a tea you want to drink
Everything we waste has a role in our solid food chain
The most simple and important of these is compost . Everyone can compost , from little scale wormeries to gigantic bins found on country landed estate that steam clean all year around . Every community should have a compost ABA transit number . layer of brownish and green materials , with an impart sprinkling of fluid gold , can before long be feeding your industrial plant . I also boost mine with the spent go to sleep from my biddy , which is a true compost accelerator . You do n’t even need an enclosed bin to get start up with composting , as open heaps can be tucked away out of visual sense .
This musical theme of decay makes some squeamish , but permit ’s face some basic facts about the food you eat and the water you drink . The solid food you eat turn from soil that is efficaciously made up of things that have decayed for billions of years : rocks , animate being , plant , and ultimately , one daytime , you . This also means the H2O you drink once passed through a Tyrannosaurus Rex . That ’s correct , even the posh bottled stuff and nonsense has passed through the bladders of countless reptiles , fish , crustacean , slug , and mammal to get to you . For billions of year all of them conk to the can , adding to the filth and recycling the water .
Weeds can be soaked in water for a number of months before then adding to the compost heap
Now , to quick convert the case for the squeamish , let ’s talk about poisonous substance . You have to be careful where you source your manure from because there have been a number of sheath where it has caused Aminopyralid poisoning of plant . Aminopyralid is a herbicide used in agriculture that is still moving off farms and into our garden . The sign of the zodiac are simple : works twist and distort , and go wrong to produce flowers or fruit . The fact that no solutions have been put on the board to break off this is troubling , but at least we can take one braggy pollutant out of the equation , and that is human waste material . discuss how we manage our waste is the first step to saving billions of pounds each twelvemonth and clearing our rivers and seas . Now , that ’s the type of ‘ stinking ’ conversation a polite and civilised society should be having .
BIO
Andrew Oldham is a self - sufficient(ish ) handicapped nurseryman who believes in the delight of down - to - globe growing and preparation . He live high on the Saddleworth hills with his family at Pig Row . Find him on all social medium platforms as @lifeonpigrow
The Beauty of Compost
